I write this watching the sun go down. As I do this, a thousand memories come flooding to my mind, you, smiling at me, you, frowning because you're upset with me, you, laughing at my silliness, you, sad because I did something that made you upset, you, sulking because I'm sulking, you, freaking out because of my random moods. I remember all the good times and the bad. As I think of all this, my mind wanders to you, and I imagine you sitting at your desk keeping yourself busy and I wish I could slip into your mind and know what you're thinking, I wish I could see the way you see ME, but then I don't. I belong to you, and I always will. But sometimes, I suffocate. I suffocate thinking about us, thinking about the future. And I'm not happy. It was never said that Love would be a happy journey with a rainbow road and no clouds in the sky. It is a twisting, dark abyss full of mistakes and lies and hurt and tears. Part of it. The Story Of Us looks a lot like a tragedy now but I know don't want it to be. Maybe in 10 years when I'm an accomplished lawyer working as a senior associate at a top law firm in New York and I'm walking through Central Park, minding my own business and my nose up in the air like all those snooty parasitical lawyers, with a cup of coffee in my hand and you're walking towards me, a pilot for a big airline and we bump into each other and you ask me out to lunch and maybe we will get married in the next 6 months or we just say hello and walk away towards our individual futures, me, to my lawyer fiance and you to your airhostess girlfriend promising to keep in touch but we never speak to each other again and wonder what if? But I don't think we would say 'What If?' because we would choose people perfectly suited for us and would not have any animosity like we did in our respective relationships and if we do stay together it could either turn into a happy, bright future with no hurt feelings or a relationship full of fights,anger,hurt and regret. We would fight all day, stubborn as we both are. We were never the sort of people who would compromise for others, were we? And right now I see ourselves turning towards that path, and I would rather stay detached than losing you forever. We loved each other. But will we in 10 years? Let's find out. I'll always Love you, one way or another. And I'm sorry.
Forever and always.
Forever and always.
