Mildly terrifying.

Just.
What.
I can't even..
See there? I now have this annoying habit of not completing my sentences since I've started using Tumblr. Like, to express something, we don't even complete what we have to say and we just KNOW what the other Tumbling peep is feeling.
Which is annoying to the rest of the world.
But who cares?
I don't even

Yeah, so I'm just sitting around on my laptop at the dead of night waiting for University decisions. Which mostly end up being rejections but I oddly don't seem to care.
I don't seem to care about a lot of things these days. Like I have to do something about this. I can't just sit around and eat cheesecake and be all la di fucking da all day. I HAVE TO TRY SOMETHING.
And this is when life starts to terrify me.
What am I doing with me life?
WHY DON'T I CARE ANYMORE?
I used to give a lot of fucks about a lot of fucking things. (Sorry for the overtly annoying swearing)
But now, I'm just so... BLAH.
I hate being BLAH. Being BLAH sucks.
And now Wattpad has ruined my life. RUINED.
SO FUCKING ADDICTING.
Its not even funny how addicting it is. Like seriously!
XOXO,
Not Gossip Girl.

Dafuq is my life.

Effervescent. Enigmatic. Exciting. Ecstatic.
That, puffballs, is how I feel about my future.
2 rejections and 1 acceptance and I feel elated.
Why? Because I'm going to university, bitches.
I am going and making my dent in the world! I don't know how, but I will.
But how am I going to survive?
For the 18 years that I have graced this world with my bubbling presence, I have lived surrounded by a close family and a melange of friends. Never have I felt alone. I've never lived alone for a long period of time! I've never had to survive on a particular budget! I never had to do my own laundry or cook every day or go buy groceries for myself all the time!
I really need to stop whining, I know.
BUT I AM TERRIFIED.
That sense of security will be lacking for a while.
I can't help it.
It's a HUGE transition.
And its coming closer.
I can't wait for it but I'm hopelessly dreading it at the same time.
And my mother doesn't want me to go. She's freaking out too.
But I can't show her that I'm freaking out or she'll force me to stay.
I WANT TO GO. But I don't.
Its a lot to put down. My thoughts are going in a million directions about this.
So I can't really convey what I feel.
This is as far as I can go.
All my Love,
Tall Girl M.